Revision Checklist for Writing Contests

On Wednesday’s last 7th on 7th, I reviewed the previous pages I’d revised and winning pg70pit entries I’d deconstructed, showing you what to do, what not to do, and how to fix red flags in your entries. Today I have a checklist for you to improve or strengthen the style and voice for one page (and hopefully beyond).

Revision Checklist for Writing Contests (and hard-core writer nerds)

1. Read the page aloud.

I say this all the time because writers still don’t do it. Voice is how the text sounds, whether to your literal ears or to your brain’s internal ear. The words might not look awkward to you on the page, but they might sound awkward. Print out two copies of your page(s) and have a friend read the text aloud. On the other copy, you highlight parts that sound awkward or where the reader ran out of breath.

If the reader is running out of breath, that means your breath units are too long. The number of syllables between punctuation marks should be fewer than 25, with most falling between 8-15. Continue reading

Lay vs. Lie

LAY VS LIE—Should you worry about the proper use of “lay” or “lie” in your informal or creative writing? It depends on your character.

If one of your contemporary or casual characters is speaking or narrating in first person, don’t worry about being proper—be natural, but be consistent. If your narrator is in third person or one of your characters is historical or proper, that character (or narrator) probably should know the difference.

Difference between LAY and LIE
Lay needs an object, a noun that is being positioned. Look at the verb and ask, What is getting positioned? By whom?

Lie has no object, but often has some direction. Look at the verb and ask, In what manner? Or, How? Where? With what?

Lay: What is getting positioned?
Lie: In what manner is the subject resting?

The words get confused because the past tense of lie is lay.

These are the present tense, past tense, past participle, and present participle of each:

  • Lay, laid, laid, laying
  • Lie, lay, lain, lying

(A participle needs a “be” helping verb: be, is, am, are, has, have, was, were, had)

Here are a few phrases to help you remember:

  • People can lie all by themselves. (Q: Lie . . . how? In what manner? A: All by themselves.)
  • Lie down. (Q: Lie . . . where? In what manner? A: Down.)
  • She lay with a book in her hand. (Q: In what manner? A: With a book.)
  • Lay down your head. (Q: Lay . . . what? A: Your head.)
  • Lay it on me. Lay it again, Sam. (Q: Lay . . . what? A: It, whatever it is)
  • I got laid. (Q: Laid . . . by whom? A: The narrator hasn’t told us)

Nobody says “Lie it on me” or “I got lain.”

If you see a “lay” in your manuscript and aren’t sure if it’s correct or not, see whether it’s in the right tense (past tense or present tense) and ask the questions above.


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pg70pit writing contest logo

pg70pit 2015 Reunion

In 2015, we had 42 total winners, with 21 featured here and 21 more spread out among the co-host’s blogs. I checked in with the winners to see if they had any news to share!

The entry window for #70pit16 opens in one month! July 1 for MG, July 2 for YA, July 3 for Adult.

 

Were you a winner in 2015? Let me know how you are doing by emailing querylara (at gmail).

pg70pit writing contest logo

Book Deals

As the Sun Burns the GroundAmanda McCrina‘s Blood Road will be out for publication in Fall 2017. Amanda got her deal the traditional way, through the slush! Read about her experience with online pitching here. Find out more about her book deal with agent Lane Heymont here. Amanda will be a slush reader for this year’s pg70pit!

Cool Blue Reason Empties on the PageAften Brook Szymanski‘s YA psychological thriller is coming out in July with BookFish Books.

Killer Potential by pg70pit alum Aften Brook Szymanski

You’re a Sky Full of StarsKristin Smith has a book deal with Clean Teen Publishing for another, YA novel, Catalyst, which will be released November 2016. Click the cover to add to Goodreads!

Catalyst by pg70pit alum Kristin Smith

Agents

I’m the Best Mistake You’ll Ever MakeKaty Pool is now represented by Alexandra Machinist at ICM Partners. Her entry got four requests during 2015’s pg70pit.

I Know a Cat Named EasterRachel Richardson: “I’ve signed with Jennifer Udden of Barry Goldblatt Lit. We’re revising my novel for submission & my old page 70 is now on like page 100! :)” Her entry got five requests during 2015’s pg70pit.

The Flowers Sleeping in her HandsRachel Moser-Hardy is now represented by Jaida Temperly at New Leaf Literary.

Today Never Happened BeforeHeather Brewer is now represented by Rebecca Angus of Golden Wheat Literary.

Like Real People DoSheena Boekweg is now represented by Jessica Sinsheimer from Sarah Jane Freymann Literary.

More than Just a Dream —Wendy Parris was a 2015 PitchWars finalist and is now represented by Mary Gaule at Mary Evans, Inc. Wendy’s entry got two requests during 2015’s pg70pit.

Have a success story? Email me and I’ll include it on the Alumni Page!

More Winner Updates

“I did in fact receive a full request thanks to Pg70pit! She has my full MS now and is considering it. Thanks so much for hosting an incredible contest—it was a wonderful experience! I enjoyed pg70pit so much. I cannot wait to see what pages make the final cut this year.” Kyrie McCauley‘s Love is a Battlefield got three requests during 2015’s pg70pit and was later chosen for Pitch to Publication! “Many fulls out for consideration, but no big news … yet!”

G. Kaup‘s Dream Weaver I Believe manuscript was later chosen for the 2015 PitchWars contest! “I loved pg70pit because I got exposure to more than just my first lines, which can be so hard to get just right. Even though no agents requested it during the contest, it was nice to have feedback from you all that the voice is great. I knew I was at least doing something right. :)”

Hema Penmatsa‘s Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme partial request was upgraded to a full. She also received several other full requests and is now working through a Revise and Resubmit for the manuscript. We hope she’ll have great news to share soon!

Kristin Walter‘s You’re the Lace in My Shoe got five requests during 2015’s pg70pit. “I got several requests from the contest but then decided my book needed a new ending, so I’m working on it again and hoping those agents are still a teensy bit interested!”

Hilary Harwell‘s Living Life By The Drop got two requests during 2015’s pg70pit. Hilary was a 2015 PitchWars finalist and a 2016 MG/YA Pikes Peak Zebulon Contest Winner.

But Darling, Stay with Me has been reworked by Heather DiAngelis from a new adult novel to YA. “I’m still in the early stages of querying, but I’ve had some full requests already, and I’m feeling optimistic!”

Mary Dunbar‘s Little Supernovas in My Head received one full request during 2015’s pg70pit. “I had several requests for fulls during the querying process, but none of them worked out. However, I’m almost finished with a new manuscript, and I hope to begin querying it this fall.”

“I think mentioning the competition in my query has definitely helped, so a massive thank you for running the whole thing and choosing my entry as a winner.” David Hall’s I Was Not Magnificent received one request during 2015’s pg70pit. David has fulls out with several agents.

Ray Morris’s Puff the Magic Dragon received two requests during pg70pit. The responses to his pages were kind and helpful, with one turning into a request to see future work. He has a few fulls and some partials out with other agents.


In one week, I’m leading a webinar: Self-Publishing vs Traditional. Get free access by signing up for The Writer Reveille, a weekly digest to wake up your writer warrior within.