ThanksGIVING

Contents

  • 15 Bookish & Writerly Things I’m Thankful For
  • My Gift to You
  • Small Business Saturday–Cyber Monday Editing Deals

15 Bookish & Writerly Things I’m Thankful For

  1. My editing clients! I wouldn’t be able to blog or stay home with my kids if it weren’t for you. I’m daily inspired and encouraged by your creative spirits. You’re THE BEST.
  2. The books patiently waiting by my bedside for me to read them
  3. My local library, for saving me hundreds of dollars a year with all their books and comics and movies.
  4. Librarians, for being insanely helpful and brilliant.
  5. This reminder from Shannon Hale:
    https://twitter.com/haleshannon/status/636907891379736576
  6. This GIF:
    https://twitter.com/larathelark/status/667520389229101056
  7. Indie Booksellers (like Addendum Books) and lit mags (like Revolver) who put on awesome literary events.
  8. The social media accounts which show how hilarious and human book publishers are.
  9. The couple hundred writers who participated in #pg70pit this summer—Thank you! We’ll be doing it again in 2016!
  10. The readers & writers who joined in my first BookDeeply writing seminar / book club. (You can still join! Nominate next spring’s debut author in the comments below.)
  11. My fellow MS Editors—you raise me up so I can stand on mountains. Oh, wait, that’s Josh Groban.
  12. Writing/editing/reading social media—Twitter, for helping me find my tribe, and Bookstagrammers, for making my daily doses of books and design easy and convenient.
  13. The community of comics creators at OA Live.
  14. FREE COMIC BOOK DAY
  15. And YOU, for reading my blog! Thank you!

blowkiss

What literary wonders are you thankful for this year? Share in the comments!

My Gift to You

If you are not of a geeky persuasion and/or have no appreciation for popular culture, you probably won’t appreciate this. But if you know who Pavel Chekov is, then I hope you like and enjoy.

I made a series of geeky to-do/checklists for you. I call them…

wait for it…

the CHEKOV LIST.

I’ve got blue ones with trekkie insignia…

chekovblue

Assorted colors for color-coders:
chekovmulti

and black and white sketchy ones for those trying to save some toner…
chekovblack

They’re free! You can download them by clicking the image below.

If you do download them, and if you enjoy them, do me a favor and rate them on Teachers Pay Teachers, please!

Eventually I’ll add more writing worksheets to that site, so let your writing instructors know about it. 🙂

Have fun with these, print out a bunch for friends, enjoy!

downloadEditing Deals

From now through Cyber Monday, request a quote from me to receive big discounts!

SBSdeal

Note: November is the craziest month for Marine families, so my posting schedule is a bit off! We had the Marine Corps Birthday Ball last weekend and have Thanksgiving tomorrow, so November’s query workshop and the Act Three post will be a bit delayed.

Overused Words You Should and Shouldn’t Delete

overused-words

If you spend some time in writer critique circles, I’m sure you’ve heard the well-intended advice to delete words “that” or “was” from your writing. I’m here to clarify when you should, and when you SHOULDN’T, delete these words.

Once you’ve read the lesson, I’ve got a master list of commonly overused words for you to refer to while revising.

Delete “that”

Sometimes a sentence needs the word “that” in order to be read correctly. For example:

He knew from the way I carried myself and the name tag I had been
wearing my father is mayor.

The sentence above reads like a run-on without the word “that.” It reads better like this:

He knew from the way I carried myself and the name tag I had been
wearing that my father is mayor.

Don’t delete “that” from sentences which use a “from” or “by” to describe how a person learns something. The “by” or “from” signifies how, and the “that” signifies what was learned.

If you delete the “that,” use punctuation to allow the reader time to switch from how to what:

You can tell by the way I use my walk,
I’m a woman’s man: no time to talk.

In most cases, I agree that “that” should be removed from sentences. 😉

But before deleting all instances, consider readability and meaning of the sentence with and without the word. “That” can be a symptom of wordiness, but it isn’t the problem. Sometimes clarity requires more words.

Delete “was” or “is”

The being words aren’t the problem. The problems are passive voice and incorrectly using “-ing” words. First, passive voice.

How to find passive voice

Passive voice is a verb with a “to be” helper verb (is/am/are/was/were/have been) in front of it and an -ed or -en ending. Here are some examples:

  • is forbidden
  • am bitten
  • are captured
  • was eaten
  • were smooched
  • have been made

How to fix passive voice

To fix passive voice, you need to find the true subject. Read the sentence and ask “by whom or what?” The answer to that question is the true subject.

  • Peanut butter is forbidden [by the PTA] —> THE PTA forbids peanut butter.
  • I am bitten [by my vampire boyfriend] —> MY VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND bit me.
  • Rebels are captured by the Empire —> THE EMPIRE captured rebels.
  • Spaghetti was eaten [by all] —> WE ALL ate the spaghetti.
  • Our cheeks were smooched by Great Aunt Millie —> GREAT AUNT MILLIE smooched our cheeks.
  • Mistakes have been made [by the administration] —> THE ADMINISTRATION made mistakes.

Should you fix passive voice?

Generally yes. Active verbs are stronger than passive verbs. Passivity is considered negative and weak.

However, sometimes passive voice is necessary. Sometimes the true subject needs to stay hidden (for suspense) or is unknown. Sometimes the object is more important than the true subject. This is especially true when the subject is a victim.

Do search for passive voice, but understand when to make it active and when to keep it positive.

What isn’t passive voice? Tricky -ed Adjectives

Being verbs are used as auxiliary verbs—helpers to other verbs, as in the case of passive or perfect voice—or as linking verbs, when they link the subject to a noun or adjective.

“He is happy” is pretty obviously not passive voice because “happy” isn’t a verb. But what about “He is excited”? Sure, you can ask “by whom or what” here, because you can be excited by something. Excite is a verb. But excited is also an adjective. So are pleased, confused, thrilled, delighted, flattered

Check the dictionary to see if the word is an adjective, and remember the rule about passive voice: Sometimes the object is more important than the true subject. In the case of linking verbs and adjectives, the character whom the adjective describes is usually more important than whatever is causing the effect.

Read more about linking verbs below, and the problems people have with them, too.

Delete “was” (also “-ing” verbs or “gerunds”)

Nearly every time I see someone online advising writers to cut “ing verbs,” that person doesn’t understand what a progressive verb is. And if those bloggers don’t know what a progressive verb is, they certainly don’t know what gerunds or active participial phrases are.

gerund is an “ing” word used as a noun. For example, Singing annoys Kristina—”Singing” there is a noun, because you could replace it with “Steve” or “fish” or “politics” and it would still make grammatical sense.

progressive verb is a verb with an -ing ending and a “to be” helper verb (is/am/are/was/were/has been/have been/will be/would be/will have been/would have been…) in front of it. The girl was singing— “was singing” is a progressive verb.

An active participial phrase is an “ing” word used as an adjective, often as part of a larger adjectival phrase. Singing loudly, the girl was annoying Kristina—”singing loudly” is an adjectival phrase talking about the girl, and “was annoying” is the verb, the action she is performing.

Getting -ing Verbs Right

Progressive verbs are sometimes used incorrectly. The key word is “progressive.” A progressive verb shows an action happening continually or at the same time as something else:

I was washing my face when Harold burst into the bathroom.

This sentence shows a progressive action. Changing that to this…

I washed my face when Harold burst into the bathroom.

…changes the meaning of the sentence. (Why did his bursting into the room cause me to wash my face?)

Progressive verbs often are used correctly.

However, if you’re throwing in progressive verbs for no reason, you can cut the “is/am/are/was/were” and “-ing” to create a simpler, less wordy verb. Chances are, that verb could be stronger, and in some works, that word count could be better spent elsewhere.

Barbara is eating a sandwich when Doug takes the dog for a walk.

Rather than put the focus on the act of Barbara’s continual eating, focus on something more important, like what about the sandwich was so remarkable it had to be included in the story.

Barbara savors her cheesesteak as if it were her last meal. Nauseated by the stench of her onions, Doug takes the dog for a walk.

Getting -ing Adjectives and Adjective Phrases Right

First, make sure the adjective is attached to the right noun.

Considering Nigel’s allergies, the cat needed to find another home.

That’s a misplaced modifier. The cat isn’t considering Nigel’s allergies; the narrator is. This is correct:

Considering Nigel’s allergies, I needed to find the cat another home.

So what’s wrong with -ing words? Not knowing how and when to use them.

Now you know.

Bonus: Linking Verbs = Telling

You’ll see below that linking verbs (e.g. am, are, be, is, was, were, will) are included on the overused words list.

Again, linking verbs are fine in moderation.

A linking verb creates an equation, telling you more about a subject. This = This.

Ronald is mad.

Eliza is a gravedigger.

These sentences aren’t bad. Sometimes less is more, and sometimes summary is necessary. Showing isn’t always better than telling—you should only show that which is remarkable enough to be remarked upon. If Eliza’s a background character, and her occupation doesn’t affect the plot of your story, then I don’t want a scene of her digging up graves. Actually, I could see that being thrown in for comedic effect or foreshadowing, but that’s beside the point. Showing too much can be just as much of a problem as telling too much. Use linking verbs sparingly and intentionally.

Bonus: Expletive sentences are passive.

Grammatically, “expletives” are filler words. Expletive sentences are ones that start with “it” or “there” and a linking verb. In expletive sentences, the “it” and “there” are abstract and veil the true subject. The second sentence here is not an expletive: “The tiger’s ears twitched. It was listening.” We know what “it” is—it’s the tiger.

This is an expletive:

It was scary to think about his mother dying.

Compare that with this:

His mother dying was scary to think about.

Both use linking verbs to tell us something. The latter is stronger because it has a concrete subject. You can get rid of the linking verb entirely if you’re willing to change subjects:

Thinking about his mother dying scared him.
(telling)

Whenever Yuri thought about his mother, his eye twitched involuntarily.
(showing)

Janet reached for Yuri’s hand. “That was Mercy Hospital. Your mother is ill.”
Yuri tensed. How did she get this number?
“I have some P.T.O. saved up. We could—”
“Save it for the funeral.” Yuri pulled his cuffs down to his wrist. “Let’s go catch a movie.”
(showing through internal dialogue and subtext. The reader has to interpret this scene. Is Yuri scared here? Maybe not. Maybe apprehensive, nervous… the reader will provide a complex emotion based on their own experiences.)

Expletive sentences are fine in moderation. We use them all the time in natural conversation. You’ll find plenty reading my blog. You’ll find them in literary and commercial fiction.

But do be aware of what they are and how to revise them. Ask “What was/is?” at the end of each expletive to find a clearer subject. Consider how you can show rather than tell. Remember, showing in fiction isn’t just visual, it’s experiential. How can you show by movement, touch, taste, smell, texture, sound, temperature, body language, weather, or appearance?

Note that expletives might use the following instead of a “to be” verb:

  • does
  • did
  • feel
  • seem

For example: “There seems to have been a misunderstanding.” or “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand.”

The point of an expletive is that “it” or “there” is hiding, rather than referring to, the subject of the sentence.


 Commonly Overused Words

These are words I see repeated in manuscripts pretty frequently, combined with Lana’s Watch Word list. Check out her guest post to see how she uses her list to revise her own works.

You are free to use and share this list for educational, non-profit purposes! You must, however, give credit and the link to this post. You may not use this list for commercial gain.

Note: look for different forms of the words below. Tense (past, present, perfect, progressive) and person (first, second, third) will affect the word endings. The most common variations are -ing, -s, and -ed suffixes.

Adverbs / Prepositions—Adverbs are FINE. But these adverbs and prepositions are frequent pet words in manuscripts. Use in moderation.

-ly, A lot, Again, Almost, At least, Back, Even, Instead, Just, Like, Of Course, Over, Really, So, Then, Toward, Very, Which

Signs of Weak Verbs—can you make the verb stronger or more specific? Do you want to?

Be, Is, Had, Has, Make, Was, Were, Would,
It does/is/was/will/would/had,
There are/do/does/is/was/were/will/would/had

Signs of Wordiness—cut if you can, or split up the sentence. 

And, As, Began/Begin, Going, Start, That, Try/Tried

Repeated Descriptions / Actions—use in moderation. Authors tend to overuse one of these and ignore other possible descriptions or actions.

Breath, Brow/Eyebrow, Eye, Gasp, Hair, Head, Laugh, Shake/Shook, Shrug, Sit/Sat down, Smile, Smirk, Sneer, Stand/Stood, Stomach, Turn

Repeated Pronouns—make sure the antecedent (the word these refer to) is clear

It, One, of Them, of Us, There, They

Filtering Language—Removing will allow the reader to experience firsthand rather than secondhand (Read more)

Feel/Felt, Glance, Hear, Know, Look, Realize, Recognize, Remember, Saw, See, Seem, Think/Thought

Overused by Characters / Narrator—Again, fine in moderation but distracting when used frequently. Watch sentence beginnings, especially

And, But, Like, OK/Okay, So, Well, [Other Characters’ Names]

Full List

-ly
A lot
Again
Almost
And
As
At least
Back
Be
Began/Begin
Breath(e)
Brow/eyebrow
. But
Even

Eye
Feel/Felt
Gasp
Glance

Going
Had
Hair
Has
Head

Hear
Instead
Is

It
It is (does/was/will/would/had)

Just
Know
Laugh
Like
Look
Of Course
Of them
OK/okay
One
Over
Really
Realize
Recognize
Remember

Saw/See
Seem
Shake/Shook
Shrug
Sit down/Sat down

Smile
Smirk
Sneer

So

Stand/Stood up
Start

Stomach
That
Then
There is (are/do/does/was/were/will be/would/had)

Think/Thought
Toward
Try/Tried
Turn
Very
Was
Well
Were

Which
Would

 

Self Publishing or Traditional: Which is Better for You?

Are you trying to decide between self-publishing or traditional publishing? Both have pros and cons! Here’s a quick summary of the differences.

Traditional publishing is about collaboration and takes time.

Self publishing is about control and costs money.

Money

Traditional publishing pays you some thousand dollars* at the beginning and some pocket change per book once the advance is paid off.

Self publishing costs some thousand dollars to put together your publishing team, but you earn a bigger percentage of your book.

Either way, you need to market your own book if you want to be successful. Traditional publishers will handle 40–60% of your marketing. The rest is up to you. That’s why people with huge followings are easy deals. Publishers know they’ll sell books.

*The average advance for a first-time novelist is $10,000. See the link to the SFWA post for more information about small presses and vanity publishers.

Relationships

Self publishing is starting your own business. You make the hires, you pay everyone before the book hits shelves (physical or digital).

Traditional publishing is working in partnership with agents and editors. Freelance editors and agents work for you, but you only pay the former out of pocket. The latter gets a cut of your pay. If you don’t get paid, your agent doesn’t get paid, so she will fight for the best deal. But you work for the publisher when you get a book deal. It’s up to the acquisitions editor and publisher how much you get paid and how many of your books they’ll publish.

If you’d like to see more of a breakdown between the differences, read below the break.

Time vs Money

Traditional publishing

After writing, revising, sending to critique partners, revising, querying agents, hiring a freelance editor (optional), getting an agent, and editing based on their notes, your agent starts sending your book out to acquisitions editors, looking for the best fit and the best deal. If you get a deal, then your acquisitions editor gives you editing notes, you edit, and then you give it to your publisher’s in-house team to proofread, layout and format, and design the cover.

You will have some input on the cover design and will make a marketing plan with your publisher. You pay for only a freelance editor—everything else is covered by the publisher, who invests in you.

Self publishing

After writing, revising, sending to critique partners, revising, hiring a development editor (optional), and editing based on their notes, you begin putting together a team. You hire a freelance editor who specializes in fiction to copyedit your entire novel. You hire a designer to make your cover. You hire a designer to layout and format your text. You hire a publicist. You hire a proofreader to make one last pass at the final proof. You put your book online. You buy paperback copies to sell and give to reviewers.

You pay for everything because you are investing in yourself. You have control over every aspect of your book (though for the sake of editors and designers everywhere, I’ll tell you that if you’re hiring actual professionals, give them parameters but then let them do their job and pay them for their work).

You get what you pay for. A $100 cover design isn’t going to get you what a $1,000 cover design would, unless you buy a pre-made design. However, dishonest people might have high prices in an attempt to appear professional, but then don’t deliver.

So you also need to do research. I see lots of designers and editors online charging a lot of money for unprofessional work. Do your research, start small (with a free sample edit from editors or seeing past, complete novel covers from the designer), read over their contracts and design briefs, and then hire them to do the whole work. Do not waste your money or shortchange yourself by hiring unprofessionals.

Contracts and design briefs protect freelancers and protect you. They ensure that the freelancer will be paid for his or her work and ensure that you receive the work you’re paying for.

Other options

Traditional publishing and self-publishing are two different routes. However, there are other options.

You can submit to some publishers without an agent. If you do, rather than giving an agent a percentage of your sales, you should hire a lawyer to look over the publishing contract before signing. Repeat for each book sale. The last thing you want to do is hand your book over to a con artist or crooked business.

If you can handle NSFW language, Chuck Wendig’s post talks about hybrid authors—authors publishing some books themselves, others with publishers. Wendig talks about his experience with self publishing and traditional publishing here.

This excellent post from SFWA explains the difference between big publishers, small presses, and vanity presses, warning about the latter.