Quick & Easy Guide to Dashes

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dashes

hyphen (-)

A hyphen goes between words or syllables to link them together.

Example: Editors appreciate dash-savvy writers.

All English keyboards: the hyphen is the minus key next to zero.

en dash (–)

An en dash denotes a range between numbers or dates. It is so called because it is the same length as the letter “n.”

Example: The author used multiple dashes on pages 4–90.

Microsoft: alt + 0150

MS Word auto-format: enter [space], [hyphen], [space] between words.

Like this: word – word

Apple: option + hyphen

Smartphone or tablet: hold down the hyphen key until more options appear. The N-dash is probably the middle choice.

em dash (—)

An em dash denotes an interruption. It is so called because it is the same length as the letter “m.”

Example: Authors—even professional ones—often use dashes incorrectly.

Microsoft: alt + 0151

MS Word auto-format: enter [hyphen][hyphen] between words without spaces.

Like this: word–word

Apple: shift + option + hyphen

Smartphone or tablet: hold down the hyphen key until more options appear. The M-dash is the widest choice.

 

Meet my Main Character

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Welcome to the Meet My Main Character Blog Tour, started by Debra Brown. I was invited by Kristin Molnar. I met Kristin via a Craigslist classified for a writer’s group. Answering that ad was perhaps the most daring thing I’ve ever done socially (I’m very introverted), and I’m so very glad I did. Meet Silas, Kristin’s MC, here.

I’m bringing in Robin McGinnis for this blog tour. He’s the protagonist of my literary fantasy, WORLD SONG.

wave

What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or historical? 

Robin Evans is fictional, but some historical characters make appearances later on. Geoffrey of Monmouth, Henry II, Rosamund Clifford. Gutenberg is a friend of a friend.

When and where is the story set? 

  • St. Bernadine, Minnesota (based roughly on Cloquet) in 2009
  • Eirinon, a fantasy realm located in the Welsh/English Forest of Dean in 1176

What should we know about her/him? 

Finally, an excuse to throw in some backstory! Here’s an info dump I cut from an early query letter draft:

Ever since his dad disappeared (what kind of historian goes MIA, anyway?), 26-year-old Robin has been stunted in two ways. One, he wants to be the family hero, to the point of picking Lycra wedgies on his lunch break. Two, besides his party bookings as a Batman impersonator, his calendar and plan for the future are blank. He knows that, eventually, one of his family members will need his help. And when that day comes, he won’t let them down.

He’s a nerdy, cellist, wannabe hero. No matter how many hours he clocks in at the gym, he’s still long and lean, but he’s stronger than he looks.

His last name used to be McGinnis, but McGinnis is the last name of Terry McGinnis, who succeeds Bruce Wayne as Batman. Robin (no relation to the boy wonder) is a big fan of Batman, so it just got too weird. Now he’s Robin Evans.

Weird fact: Though he’s been a character of mine for seven years now, I never really liked Robin. He was too responsible. Too heroic. I had to get him into a fight and give him some weird quirks before I started liking him. He’s not based on Chuck Bartowski (GIF above), but I adore Chuck, so I borrowed a couple of his traits and tested them out on Robin until I really liked him. I knew if I didn’t like my protagonist, my readers probably wouldn’t, either!

What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life? 

Robin and his brother and sister get transported to the Middle Ages a few days before their mom’s birthday. He wants to get them home as soon as possible—his mom already lost her husband, so Robin feels guilty for their disappearance, even though it wasn’t really his fault. But he doesn’t know how to get back, and then his sister is kidnapped, and his brother is sentenced to be executed… Let’s just say Robin has his work cut out for him.

What is the personal goal of the character?

Robin has a bit of a savior complex. He wants to fix everything for everybody. At best, it’s mildly annoying. At worst, it borders on obsessive behavior and illuminates some psychological issues. In terms of Robin’s personal goals, the story is a tragedy. Robin can’t save everyone. But the rest of the story is more of a comedy of errors. So together I guess that makes it a dramedy.

Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

The working title is WORLD SONG, and it’s not ready yet for its debut. Though I do need Beta Readers! Contact me here or on Twitter (@larathelark). If/when I land an agent, I’ll post my query letter here on my blog.

When can we expect the book to be published?

I’m still writing! I have an August 2014 end date, but I’ll be editing for quite some time, and I’ll be querying Winter 2014 at the earliest. Since I’m going the traditional publishing route, I hope for a book deal in 2015, with a release in 2016 or 2017. It all depends on the market!

Next week Kylie Betzner and Nate Philbrick will be continuing the tour. Kylie writes comedic fantasy novels and connects writers to readers and resources though her blog Lit Chic. Her first novel will be coming out January 2015. I “met” Nate online, and he’s very active on Twitter and his blog Flash Flood Fiction. He is a speculative fiction writer with published and contest-winning short stories. He’s writing a novel that is in progress to query.

Query #2 July 2014

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querylara

Below is the second public query critique I’m offering up on the blog. This will happen once a month (as long as I get a response). I choose one query at random per month. If your query is not selected one month, it will be in the drawing for the next month. Please do not resubmit unless you’ve made significant edits. To enter, see the rules here. If you want a guaranteed critique (plus line edit) of your query or synopsis, private ones cost $35 each.

Dear Lara,

Sending to me might be practice, but any initial email to someone in this business needs to be addressed “Dear Mr./Ms. [Last Name],” and if you are not sure on whether to use Mr. or Ms., look at their website and see which pronoun is used there. Some people say it’s okay to use Dear [First name Last name] if you aren’t sure of gender. I say do your research.

Melissa Stratten puked on a senior basketball player while hooking up, and nobody will stop whispering about it.  Even worse[,] her mom’s ex-boyfriend stole her college money.  Now she has to find a way to pay for college or else she’ll never get out of Valley Pines.

There’s an extra space after your first sentence. Yes, I notice these things. No, you won’t get in trouble for it. But I see a couple of other double spaces, too. Find and replace. Agents skim hundreds of queries each day. You don’t want to include any annoyances if you can help it. Using “even worse” is another one of those annoyances I just saw an agent tweet about today, actually. (Update: I can’t seem to find that tweet ANYWHERE, even using the search function. Keep it if you want, but use a comma if you do!)

That aside, how old is Melissa? Is she a junior? If she’s a senior, then why mention that her hook-up was a senior?

So these things happened to Melissa. What I want to know is how she feels about it. Is she angry? Secretly upset but trying to play cool?

When her best friend Jack, the school drug dealer, suggests they create an app based on school scandals, an ostracized Melissa is all for exacting revenge on her classmates. Chaos, anonymously unveils the hottest dirt to everyone at school, gives Melissa a way to make some cash, and shows off her design skills to colleges.  It’s epic. 

“Epic” is one of the most overused words in the English language. I’d like to see voice in a YA query, but done seamlessly, not tacked to the end. How does this make Melissa cash? Is the information unveiled only to paid subscribers? Or do people have to pay to submit the dirt?

Commas don’t follow titles. It’s not clear on first glance that “Chaos” is the title. Be clear. Also, the app isn’t anonymously doing anything, it’s the users that are anonymously posting. Try something like “Students are eager to purchase the app, Chaos, which lets users upload dirt on their classmates anonymously.” It’s not great, but at least it’s clear.

Then Melissa finds out Jack wants to use Chaos to release a sex tape of a student and a teacher, a teacher who knows about his dealing. If Melissa doesn’t go along with Jack, she can spare a girl’s reputation–like she wishes someone spared hers.

So the teacher knows about Jack’s dealing? Is the teacher also threatening to get Jack expelled? Why doesn’t Jack just blackmail the teacher? This makes no sense to me.

But, tThe more Melissa pushes Jack to kill Chaos, the more paranoid and threatening he becomes, pinning the entire app, and the video[,] on her. Melissa has to stop Jack before she ends up expelled, in jail, and kissing her college dreams goodbye.

Why is Jack getting paranoid? Why won’t he just kill it? If he has already pinned it on her, how can she stop him? And why would she be put in jail?

BOOK TITLE, no comma after the title is a 60,000 word YA contemporary novel.  It will appeal to fans of ABC’s Revenge and The Social Network.   Thank you for your consideration.

Most agents are fine with TV or movie comp titles, but some might consider it bad taste to compare books only to television shows. It has subtext that says “My book will get even people who watch TV to read.” Consider adding a book as a comparative title too.

While the premise is interesting, it’s a Veronica Mars episode. If you want to compete with a cult classic, you’ll have to show me what makes this story different, and show me that Melissa is a Veronica Mars for the next generation, interesting enough for me to pick up a book instead of watching reruns.

Sincerely,

[redacted]

Sent from my iPhone

I have too many questions and this had enough minor annoyances to add up to one major annoyance—that this doesn’t seem professional. As soon as I opened this email, this is what I saw:
queryfwd

It tells me that I’m at least the fourth person to read this query. The signature was “Sent from my iPhone.”

Be professional, be clear. Make the agent want to read your book, and make him or her want to work with you.