If you follow me on Twitter, then you’ll get daily doses of writing and editing tips with an occasional sprinkling of bad jokes and fangirl gushing over Clark Gregg or Nathan Fillion (unless you follow me @LaraEdits, which is my new account for editing tips). You may have seen this tweet:
Drama, that magic stuff that keeps us reading, requires CHARACTER (protagonist, w/ goals) and CONFLICT (obstacles, stakes). #writingtips
That is dramatic storytelling at it’s very simplest. You can remember it in terms of 2, 3, or 4, depending on whichever is easiest for you:
Character + Conflict
Character + Goal + Obstacles
Character + Goal + Obstacles + Stakes
Empathetic characters with goals
Characters have to want something, otherwise they just sit around eating Fritos in their boxer briefs in their parents’ basement. That isn’t a story. Continue reading →
Next morning I awoke, looked out the window and nearly died of fright. My screams brought Atticus from his bathroom half-shaven.
“The world’s endin’, Atticus! Please do something!” I dragged him to the window and pointed.
“No it’s not,” he said. “It’s snowing.”
—To Kill a Mockingbird
In first-person narration, the narrator is a character in the story and uses the pronoun “I.” We never see into anyone else’s head, unless there is more than one narrator. The narrator is aware of an audience and needs to have a reason to tell the story. As in omniscient narration, the voice of the first-person narrator must be distinct, interesting, and well-crafted.
In first-person movies, we usually hear the thoughts of the narrator but see the character.In fiction, however, the narrator should not be remembering scenes as an out-of-body experience. In other words, there shouldn’t be any filtering.
In this clip from A Christmas Story, we can see Ralphie most of the time, but we can also hear his thoughts and sometimes see from his visual point-of-view.
First person novels:To Kill a Mockingbird, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Great Gatsby, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Frankenstein, Dracula
Third-Person Omniscient Narrator
There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C…(before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy…. Well, this one left them all behind.
—The Princess Bride
The omniscient narrator knows what is going on in any person’s head at any time, in any place. The narrator is its own voice and can make its own judgments about the characters. It’s the least intimate of the POVs, but the distance can be comic distance, used effectively for humor. This style of narration calls attention to itself (remember, it’s presentational), and it carries the story. Omniscient narration must be interesting and exceptionally well written. It can have a distinct voice that makes comments, like in the narration at the beginning of 500 Days of Summer, or throughout Amelie.
A fair warning, though. Many people consider omniscient narration to be sloppy or lazy, and “head hopping” is a common mistake made by writers. Unless you are writing comedy or are briefly creating an establishing shot, you might want to consider using Third Person Limited Omniscience.
Third person Omniscient novels:The Princess Bride, parts of The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, books by Terry Pratchett and Kurt Vonnegut and Jane Austen
Third-Person Limited Narrator, Light
It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew—and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.
― Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Third person limited omniscience, light penetration consists of a neutral narration which sometimes dives into the head of a character (or two or more, but only one per scene—it is limited). This POV is usually replaced by deep penetration during emotionally tense scenes that need to be more fully experienced. In movies, soliloquies are the closest thing to hearing the characters’ thoughts, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is full of them.
Third-Person Limited Narrator, Deep
It was stupid, pointless, irritating beyond belief that he still had four days left of being unable to perform magic…
—Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Marvolo Gaunt’s ring lay on the desk before Dumbledore. It was cracked; the sword of Gryffindor lay beside it.
—Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I’ve given the two examples above to illustrate different examples of deep penetration in a novel that is primarily light penetration. In the first, the narration is what Harry is feeling, though it doesn’t say, “he thought,” and it stays in third person rather than switching suddenly to first. In the second, we have come from seeing Harry seeing through the pensieve—using filtering words like “Harry saw,” “Harry noticed,” etc.—to seeing the objects for ourselves, without filtering.
Like first person, in third-person deep, we see into someone else’s head and everything is told from his or her point of view, but the narration uses third person pronouns instead of first. This can actually be more intimate than first person, because the reader sort of becomes the POV character. Think of it like having a dream. In a dream, you can be someone else. You know it isn’t you, hence the third-person pronouns, but you still see from someone else’s POV. No filtering is used—no “he thought” or “she thought,” and any separate narrator disappears so that the POV character becomes the narrator.
Imagine a movie like Cloverfield, in which we can also hear the filming character’s thoughts. This is what reading first person or third person deep penetration should look like.
Third-Person Cinematic/Objective Narrator
I can’t really give a short example of an objective point of view, because for all you know, the next line might have a description of someone’s thoughts, and objective narration is characterized by what it isn’t rather than what it is. If you’re reading a suspenseful tale that has a scene featuring the villain or suspect, chances are, that scene is told in objective narration. To see into the mind of the bad guy would give up his motive.
If you really want to see this in practice, compare Voldemort’s scenes in the first few Harry Potter books, in which we/Harry can see into his head, to the first chapter of Deathly Hallows, which is so cinematic, none of the characters are named until after they are physically described. The reader is forced to make guesses and assumptions about the characters, because the narrator is completely silent.
In a cinematic view, we can’t see into anyone’s thoughts, so we rely on our own observations of the characters and their dialogue.
Most movies never go into the brain of a character, which is why this style of narration is called cinematic. So to illustrate, I’ll pick a scene that is painfully, obviously cinematic, from The Hunger Games.
In the books, we see everything from Katniss’s brain. It’s written in first person, present tense, and the effect is immediacy. We hear her thoughts as she has them. In this scene of the movie, the director relies on clunky sports commentary to explain what Katniss may or may not be thinking. It’s insulting to the viewer. The director assumes you aren’t smart enough to figure out what’s going on. If we really couldn’t figure it out, all Katniss had to do would be to mutter, “It’s mined.” Or even, “It’s a minefield.” Or, hey, even, “Well, I declare! I do believe they have taken the mines from under the launch pads and moved them there, to create a booby trap!” It’s not like humans never say anything to themselves aloud. I assume they wanted a sort of pinch point, to remind the audience of the Capitol, and they probably wanted to get Stanley Tucci some more screen time, but UGH.
Here’s how it plays out in the book, and notice how, even though she doesn’t have to, she whispers OUT LOUD:
I realize I’m grinding my teeth in frustration. Foxface has confirmed what I’d already guessed. But what sort of trap have they laid that requires such dexterity? Has so many trigger points? Why did she squeal so as her hands made contact with the earth? You’d have thought … and slowly it begins to dawn on me … you’d have thought the very ground was going to explode.
“It’s mined,” I whisper. That explains everything. The Careers’ willingness to leave their supplies, Foxface’s reaction, the involvement of the boy from District 3, where they have the factories, where they make televisions and automobiles and explosives. But where did he get them? In the supplies? That’s not the sort of weapon the Gamemakers usually provide, given that they like to see the tributes draw blood personally. I slip out of the bushes and cross to one of the round metal plates that lifted the tributes into the arena. The ground around it has been dug up and patted back down. The land mines were disabled after the sixty seconds we stood on the plates, but the boy from District 3 must have managed to reactivate them. I’ve never seen anyone in the Games do that. I bet it came as a shock even to the Gamemakers.
If they really had to have Caesar Flickerman in that scene, he could have explained that second paragraph after Katniss figured it out, giving the backstory, and not insulting both the protagonist and the audience.
But I digress and rant.
That’s about all I have to say on Point of View for the time being. Let me know if you need something more clearly explained, or if you want to know more about another writing topic. I’m open to suggestions!
I’m going to give you four openings of books, and you tell me how they hook the reader. Why does the reader keep reading?
1. In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
2. First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross carried letters from a girl named Martha, a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey. They were not love letters, but Lieutenant Cross was hoping, so he kept them folded in plastic at the bottom of his rucksack.
3. When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.
4. When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special significance, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.
Here are the sources for the openings:
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Tim O’Brien, The Things They Carried
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Here are my answers of what might be going through a reader’s mind as s/he reads the openings:
That’s an intriguing idea. I wonder what more the author has to say or show about it. (Answers)
I want to know more about this guy; he seems interesting. (Character)
Immediate: What’s the Reaping? By the end of the chapter: What happens next? (Answers, Time)
Who’s Bilbo? Where’s Bag End? Eleventy-first birthday? A Party? Hobbiton? (World)
Earlier this week I posted about WATCH, a method of figuring out which of four elements your novel focuses on. Each novel has all four, but novels generally stress one over the others. When you know which element is your focus, you have a good idea of how to start and end your novel, giving it continuity. The four elements are World, Answers (or theme), Time (or events), and Character. Read about them on the previous post.
Tricky Beginnings and Endings
Beginning and ending your book with your focus element is a helpful tip. Itisn’t a rule.To Kill A Mockingbird begins with a statement about Jem, Scout’s brother, then talks about events leading up to his injury, and then the book ends on theme.
Tuck Everlasting begins with a mystery and ends with a theme, but the epilogue ends with more events. All together, the story is a Time story—readers want to know what happens next.
The Outsiders starts by talking about the narrator and ends with him wanting to tell the world about his friends. The book’s themes and plot and world are important, but the story begins and ends with character.
A Study in Scarlet is a mystery, but the first chapter is about Dr. Watson introducing himself and then being told about Sherlock Holmes. But even the character of Holmes is its own mystery, which is why the reader doesn’t want to know how the characters grow so much as answer the question of who they are.
Isaac Asimov’s Foundation begins with an “excerpt” from the Encyclopedia Galactica. It’s not difficult to guess that World is definitely a focus in his books.
A Note Regarding Prologues
Agents want to read and represent a book that hooks them from the first paragraph. That’s why plenty of agents despise prologues. But wait, you say, plenty of fantasy and sci-fi books start with prologues. If World is your focus, you’re more likely to get away with a prologue. If the focus is Character or Answers, then you likely should not have a prologue—backstory and answers should be revealed throughout the book. Don’t give your milk away for free if you’re trying to sell a cow.
If you are debating about including a prologue, first consider the following:
Is there any other way you can effectively incorporate this information without putting it at the beginning?
Is it really that necessary?
Do you care that many readers will skip over it?
Do you care that it might annoy potential agents or publishers?
If you absolutely must include a prologue, I suggest titling it Chapter One rather than Prologue. Include a date or time stamp there and on Chapter 2 to show a shift in time or place.
YOUR Beginning: Another Quiz!
When writing or revising your beginning, ask yourself what is important to you as a writer and as a reader.
Answer each question yes/no. Then rank your “Yes” answers in order of what matters most to you.
Do you want to be thought of as poignant or thought-provoking?
Do you want to be known as exciting?
Do you want to be known for your imagination?
Do you want to be known as an intimate person?
Do you read books to escape?
Do you put down a book if it’s boring?
Do you enjoy books that make you think?
Do you tend to forget about the plot in books you’ve read, but always remember the people?
Do you want people to fall in love with your characters?
Do you want people to enjoy your fictional universe as much as (or more than) you do?
Do you want your book to be memorable for its themes?
Do you want your book to be a page-turner?
What matters most from questions 1–4: ___ (1-A, 2-B, 3-D, 4-C)
What matters most from questions 5–8: ___ (5-D, 6-B, 7-C, 4-A)
What matters most from questions 9–12: ___ (9-C, 10-D, 11-A, 12-B)
If you answered mostly A’s (Answers)—Start your book with a theme and end it with the final statement on the theme. For the rest of the novel, be sure to illustrate (show) rather than explain (tell) so you don’t get preachy. These are the books that, when thematic and done right, change people’s lives and become their most beloved books. When structured as mysteries or capers, these are the most open to becoming series.
If you answered mostly B’s (Time)—Start your book immediately with the inciting incident, and end each chapter with a change of events. Finish the book with a final change of events (which might be a cliff-hanger if this is part of a series). These books are the ones that people can’t put down and recommend to their friends because it’s such a thrilling read.
If you answered mostly C’s (Characters)—Start and end your book with interesting details about the character. Voice is everything. So is making the character sympathetic by using rooting interests. These are the books that people fall in love with, that generate the most fan fiction.
If you answered mostly D’s (World)—Fascinate them with the world you create. Start with a regular day, if it’s really amazing. Otherwise begin with the most interesting places or event in your world, and end once the world finds a new normal. These are the books that people immerse themselves in—the ones that generate the most cosplays and fan art. They have a very high potential for spin-offs. (They are also the ones that have the highest costuming and CGI budgets when transferred to film!)
Today we talk about using as few words as possible to tell a story. It’s a great exercise for synopses writing, query letters, and elevator speeches.
I’ve been reading more picture books to my son lately, and some of his favorite are the five-page, itty bitty board books by Disney.
His collection seems to be out-of-print. I’d like to think it’s because those stories were so blatantly sexist. But I digress. I’m supposed to be comparing this to a summary of a story.
Think of a Disney movie. Take, for example, my favorite, The Lion King. We’ve already examined The Lion King using my 8 C’s of plotting, so we know that there’s a full story there.
But Disney merch has shown us a plethora of synopses for the story. There are chapter books, story books, picture books, and yes, a 5-page board book. Each is the same story, condensed in varying degrees of complexity.
Some of the 5-page board books have no plot at all. They have one page per character in the story. And you know what else? They are stupid. When agents/editors/publishers read your query letter or synopsis, they don’t want a page per insignificant character. They want to know what your story is. Yes, that means they want to know the plot, right down to the happy or unhappy ending.
Another digression:
I read in How Not to Write a Novel the chapter “How Not to Sell a Novel.” One mistake new writers sometimes make when trying to sell the book is not giving away the ending . Maybe in children’s merchandise you don’t want to tell little 2-year old Sally about the prince slaying the dragon, but I’m pretty sure 3-year old Sally wants to know that the prince is worth his salt. And Publisher Sally wants to know that the new writer she’s considering is worth his salt and can write a decent ending. Don’t annoy the publisher or agent in an attempt to be mysterious.
The best of the 5-page books are like a good movie trailer. They spell out the plot in a condensed manner, but they don’t give everything away. Still, they at least hint at the ending. My husband and I hate watching TV Spots for movies, because lately they seem to never actually tell you what the movie is about. There’s more fading to black than there is content.
Disney will probably sue me and take my puppy away if I give you an example of one of the stories they published, so let me make up an example. Each page has 1-2 sentences. No page has more than 15 or so words. Here’s my uninspiring “5-page board book” of The Hunger Games:
Katniss is a skilled hunter with trust issues.
Peeta can decorate a cake like nobody’s business.
Katniss and Peeta have to fight in the Hunger Games.
They fight for themselves. Children murder other children.
Katniss and Peeta fight for each other.
There, see? I just wrote a synopsis. You can do it, too. Try this method—it’s less painful than gauging your eyes out with a pipe cleaner.
Optional Part One: Pick a Disney movie. Find all the Disney-sponsored books you can about that movie. Chapter books, novels, story books, picture books, coloring books, story books. Read them.
Optional Part Two: Write your own 5-page board books of your favorite books or movies. Then try it out on your own stories.
Non-negotiable Part One Point Five: Enjoy yourself. If you aren’t having fun, pick a different hobby, like coil-building clay pots or macramé.