With BluePit coming up on July 13th and DVPit back again, coming in October, I wanted to repost an updated version of Tips and Tricks for Pitching as well as write a short overview of just HOW to write some pitches, you know, without ChatGPT regurgitating other people’s pitches into generic slop and selling them off as your own.

This is a shortened version of my StoryCadet class on pitching your story to agents and editors. For information on my courses, visit storycadet.com or fill out this interest survey!

What you need to know about your work

WATCh and COG: Character, Obstacle, Goal

WATCh is my mnemonic for figuring out the basic elements of your novel: World, Answer, Time, Character. World is setting. Answer is the question or problem that the story sets out to solve. Time is the cause and effect or what happens in the story to get to the answer. Character is the main character whose story we are following.

COG is my abbreviation for thinking about story structure: your character needs a goal and then obstacles that separate them from that goal.

Character

Whose story is this, really? Even if you have two or more POV characters, your elevator pitch likely needs to focus on one at a time.

Think about the following:

• Who is your character?
• Where do they come from? What is their species or cultural background? 
• What do they spend their time doing? 
• How old are they? 
• Why do they want what they want?

Come up with adjective–noun descriptions of who they are and what they do that you can use in your elevator pitch. Four irrepressible retirees spend their time solving cold case murders for fun, but their causal sleuthing takes a thrilling turn when they find themselves with a real whodunit on their hands. (The Thursday Murder Club).

Goal, Obstacles, Stakes

The goal is what the main character wants, or more importantly, needs.

Obstacles are the conflict or what keeps the character from their goal.

Stakes are what the character is afraid might happen. What could the character lose if they don’t achieve their goal? They can also show an internal dilemma: what they might lose if they do achieve their goal.

Genre & Age Category

What genre is your book? If it’s science fiction or fantasy, what sub-genre of speculative fiction?

What ages is your story written for? This doesn’t always correlate to the age of the main characters, mind you. It correlates with the maturity of your story’s voice and content.

What comparative titles—books, movies, TV shows, songs—have a similar audience or vibe? This could show up in a “_____ meets _____” statement: The Sandlot meets Inside Out (Win or Lose)

World

When and where does your story take place? What adjectives and nouns can you use that are specific to that setting or culture? A former Padawan reunites with her Jedi Master to investigate a series of galactic crimes but discovers the forces they confront are more sinister than they ever anticipated. (The Acolyte)

Concept or Premise

What makes your story unique from any other story in that same genre?

You might start this as a “What if…” question and turn it into a statement: Three improv actors are asked to go undercover by the police in London’s criminal underworld. (Deep Cover)

Your concept might also show up in your title: Monsters vs Aliens or Sharknado.

Voice

The secret to the best pitches are voice. Use specific, not generic, words to help your audience understand the tone of your story and your voice as a writer. Is this story funny, sentimental, modern, gritty, action-packed, or fantastical? Choose words that fit the tone.

Case Studies

When looking at examples of pitches, I recommend that you don’t use the following examples:

• franchises—they expect some previous knowledge of the world and may be vague
• blurbs from Netflix or streaming sources—while many are good, many are truly terrible. Check out your favorite films or TV series and decide if they do justice to the story

Here are examples from Jurassic World: Rebirth, the latest movie in a blockbuster franchise, and The Fall Guy, a non-franchise original movie.

Rotten Tomatoes Blurbs

Five years after the events of Jurassic World Dominion, the planet’s ecology has proven largely inhospitable to dinosaurs. Those remaining exist in isolated equatorial environments with climates resembling the one in which they once thrived. The three most colossal creatures within that tropical biosphere hold the key to a drug that will bring miraculous life-saving benefits to humankind.

• This is mostly about the dinosaurs and the world of the story. It tells us nothing about the main, human characters, though it does give us their goal: a life-saving drug. It also uses so many large words, it makes me think it was written by a PhD candidate.

He’s a stuntman, and like everyone in the stunt community, he gets blown up, shot, crashed, thrown through windows and dropped from the highest of heights, all for our entertainment. And now, fresh off an almost career-ending accident, this working-class hero has to track down a missing movie star, solve a conspiracy and try to win back the love of his life while still doing his day job. What could possibly go right?

• This one includes a tiny love-letter to the stunt community (what the movie is really about), the phrase “working-class hero,” and a humorous zinger at the end. I think this one nails its audience the best of all these examples.

IMDB Summaries

Five years post-Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), an expedition braves isolated equatorial regions to extract DNA from three massive prehistoric creatures for a groundbreaking medical breakthrough.

• All it tells us about the main characters are that they are “an expedition.” However, it tells us what they are doing, what stands in their way, and what their goal is. It also uses the word “braves” as a verb to show us that the expedition is full of brave people. Something generic like “travels” or “explores” isn’t as powerful here.

A stuntman, fresh off an almost career-ending accident, has to track down a missing movie star, solve a conspiracy and try to win back the love of his life while still doing his day job.

• While this summary takes some liberty (I remember some time passing between the accident and the adventure), this tells us who the main character is, what the stakes are (more accidents, losing the love of his life), and what his goals are. The main obstacle here though seems to be “while still doing his day job” which, while funny, isn’t as serious as some of the obstacles he does face, like murderers and evil executives and lots and lots of painful stunts.

Google Summaries

Zora Bennett leads a team of skilled operatives to the most dangerous place on Earth, an island research facility for the original Jurassic Park. Their mission is to secure genetic material from dinosaurs whose DNA can provide life-saving benefits to mankind. As the top-secret expedition becomes more and more risky, they soon make a sinister, shocking discovery that’s been hidden from the world for decades.

• This one focuses on one main character, though it just gives us her name and not anything about her character. It tells us her mission and hints at the obstacles and stakes, but it still has very generic wording.

After leaving the business one year earlier, battle-scarred stuntman Colt Seavers springs back into action when the star of a big studio movie suddenly disappears. As the mystery surrounding the missing actor deepens, Colt soon finds himself ensnared in a sinister plot that pushes him to the edge of a fall more dangerous than any stunt.

• This one gives us “battle-scarred stuntman” as well as the MC’s name. It includes “springs back into action,” “fall,” and “stunt” to reiterate the genre. This one doesn’t include his love life, though.

The Trailers

If you watch the first or second trailer for Rebirth, Zora comes off as a little cocky, guaranteeing survival. None of the pitches above include reference to the civilian family, and maybe none of them need to, but adding the complication of civilians does add stakes to her personal story—can she guarantee the safety of a bunch of civilians, including children?

Now watch the trailer for The Fall Guy. How would you choose which goals, stakes, and obstacles to include in this pitch?

Challenge: After watching the trailers or the movies, write your own pitches about Rebirth and/or The Fall Guy in the comments.

Further Reading

This thread from #BluePit on BlueSky does a great job of breaking down pitches when you’re allowed to include images with your pitch! #BluePitHype Advice Share

Oldies but goodies:

• Elevator Pitches by author C.E. Murphy, with the format of a character, a concept, a question
• Carissa Taylor’s Pitch Loglines Part 1, with more about stakes, and Part 2, with a ton of templates on how to structure a logline or pitch
• The Ultimate Writers’ Guide to Twitter Pitch Contests by agent Carly Watters

Write Your Own

Write six different elevator pitches for your story or work in progress. Feeling brave? Add them to the comments and tell other commenters which of their six you like the best! Let’s keep it positive here—we’re all trying our best.